Bacon and Whiskey

Fat lady gets honest

Things Overheard at Cue-to-Cue/Tech Dress for Dog Sees God

Posted by Katje on March 28, 2012


(By overheard, I mean said by me.)

“Play my vagina like the bongos.”

A pair of bongos - percussion instrument Deuts...

“This cup came all over my tits.”

“I just hit the riser and make the Africa face.”

“Hand-jobs: also played like the bongos. I hope that image stays with you when you meet my boyfriend on Saturday.”

“You brought cookies? I want to kiss you on the mouth. Except I won’t, because, you know, but still. I wanna kiss you on the mouth.”
Platypus
“I don’t want to be a platypus anymore. I want to be an airplane. In the middle of the London Blitz. Pew pew pew!

Things actually overheard, or just heard; at any rate, not said by me:

“Clean that water off your tits or you’ll get a yeast infection.”

“The bright bra is really slutty. Do you have anything brighter?”

“Don’t fart right now.”

“People are always unsure if they want to get closer to Katje.”

“Running that scene again? Angry Birds it is.”

A yellow bird collapses a structure onto sever...

Some liberties taken/paraphrases made because 10 hours of work fry Katje’s brain, and bacon and whiskey don’t help.

No names listed because I’m not a total asshole.

PS: If you see something you’ve said and you feel embarrassed, don’t comment because then everyone will know what you said.

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Happy International Women’s Day!

Posted by Katje on March 8, 2012


Today, March 8th, is International Women’s Day. This is a day for acknowledging the contributions of women to the world, and for honoring the women in your life. (Protip: Instead of giving flowers because you think it’s expected, try asking the women in your life what they’d like. Also, how awesome is it that a day dedicated to honoring women’s contributions has been turned into another flowery gender-role stifled holiday? SO awesome.)

Even a genderqueer individual like myself can enjoy and promote IWD, and ask people to focus on women’s voices. Because I understand that in the fight against sexism it’s important to centre women’s voices, and that’s part of what IWD is about. (Before any of you closet-MRAs say “Well why don’t we have an international men’s day? Whinge whinge whine,” let me remind you that every day is international men’s day. Welcome to kyriarchy; enjoy your stay, try to damage the furniture. Oh, also, you have it, so shut the fuck up.)

I hope that someday there will be an international non-binary folk day, but until that day allow me to celebrate with the gender I used to ID as.

Today I will be doing a presentation on Suzan-Lori Parks, the first African-American woman to win a Pulitzer Prize in Drama for her broadway play Topdog/Underdog. She’s also written, among other plays, Ray Charles Live!, The Death of the Last Black Man in the Whole Entire World, and Venus, a play about Saartjie Baartman. Parks is pretty amazing; you should go read about her.

As well, today Kaimana Wolff and I are having a double-promotion of our novels on Kindle. Both books deal with strong women characters, and we’re both independent authors — so even if you’re participating in Black March there’s no moral imperative against downloading a copy of both Bellica and La Chiripa for free. (Black March aims at hitting Big Media in their pocketbooks. Independent artists and authors are separate from Big Media.)

Click Here to download Bellica for free (normally 7.99 USD).

Click Here to download La Chiripa for free (normally 9.99 USD).

Finally, I’d like to acknowledge my grandmother: Tine was a nurse during World War II, and while her fiance spent most of the war in a Nazi prison for being in the Underground, she worked in a hospital that had half Ally, half Axis soldiers in it so it wouldn’t get bombed by either side. She used to tell me that the doctors would just give the German soldiers saline instead of actually helping them, and that she always found that wrong: she treated them all equally. When I was growing up, she taught me to knit, and it was her fiery nature that inspired my own. Tine was a remarkable woman, and I miss her every day.

To you, Oma.

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Swear Jars for the Modern Couple

Posted by Katje on March 3, 2012


I was chatting on Skype with my boyfriend (finally; been ages since we really talked) and spamming him with links to The Bloggess (aka Jenny Lawson), because her interactions with her husband remind me so much of my interactions with Nate. And her interactions/actions/etc in general hit me where I live. Also she’s awesome; you should read her.

I linked to this post specifically, not needing to tell Nate I was thinking of setting this up for him.

Nate: Then I’d just have to create some for you.

Me: …

Nate: “I have to pee!”
“It’s cold!”
“Give me the covers; I’m freezing.”
“NO! My covers, yes, precious.”
“How do my nails look?”
“WAIT I’M DOING MY MAKE-UP GODS”
“Why aren’t you ready? I’ve been done for 20 minutes!”
“Five more minutes. Really. STOP SHAKING ME I WILL CUT YOU.”
“Cook for me.”
“Because you’re better at it.”
“AUGH! Fine.”
“…the stove’s on fire.”
“Also I’m freezing.”
“And I have to pee again.”

Me: *falling off chair laughing*

I can’t be angry because it’s all true.  Somewhat.

Posted in Scenes from my life | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Friday Reads: The Forever Girl by Rebecca Hamilton

Posted by Katje on March 3, 2012


(Yes I realize this post is late SHUT UP I haven’t slept yet SO IT COUNTS.)

I won a game of hangman on Twitter with Rebecca Hamilton and she gave me a free Kindle copy of her book, The Forever Girl. I’m only about half-way through, but I wanted to share some quick thoughts about it.

  • I like what she’s doing with the vampire mythology.
  • Wiccan main character who is an adult, college graduate and working is very refreshing, and I’m happy to see it. I’m also happy to see the character’s flaws and watch her start to grow as she gets introduced into this strange new world of supernatural beings.
  • The attraction/sexual tension is very well-written and very good at making me hot and bothered. (Or that could be me not being able to have sex while my back is on the mend, yes I’m going crazy, regardless I enjoy the sexual tension in The Forever Girl.)

So, yes, overall I’m enjoying this book very much and I recommend you go take a look if paranormal fiction is your thing. (Also available in paperback from CreateSpace.)

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WW: Writers going to write (gators going to gate, etc)

Posted by Katje on February 29, 2012


So, I’m sitting here eating the official food of women and thinking I haven’t done a Writer Wednesday post in a while. 

In fact, I’ve been sorely neglecting this blog.

Blame exhaustion, my injury, school, and my shoddy internet connection. At least all of those combined have certainly made it difficult.

But in the end, writing or not is a choice. And I’ve chosen to neglect my blogging in favour of other things.

There are a lot of arguments against this concept of writing or not as a choice. What if you’re sick? What if you have no time to write because you’re always working? What if what if what if.

I accept that there are a lot of things that can get in the way of writing. I accept that writing everyday can be impossible.

But if you’re not writing a few times a week, then you’re not a writer. And that’s a choice. 

Writing

When I say writing I don’t mean 7,000 words in a sitting; 10 chapters; a great new novel idea; a fantastic short story; a really engaging blog post. I mean, sure, those are things you can do with your writing time.

But writing time means just that: time in which you write. Anything bigger than a shopping list. Five words in your journal. A brief character sketch. Planning plotlines while you shower.

It doesn’t have to take more than five minutes. And if you’re like me, you’ll find that if you give yourself five minutes a day to write, you will start to feel better. And then more time will magically become available.

Writing is a lot like a spiritual practice in that way, actually. Those of us with orthopraxic religions, at least. In Evolutionary Witchcraft T. Thorn Coyle recommends using showering time to ground and centre — just five minutes of your time, during which you’re already showering so it’s not really extra time in your day. The more you ground and centre, the more time you’ll find becoming available in your day for more spiritual things. Soon you’re waking up a full hour early so you can sit in meditation. Or whatever your chosen practice is.

For me, writing is my chosen spiritual practice. I don’t always do my devotional dances in the morning (though I feel awesome when I do); I don’t always ground and centre; I don’t always meditate, or sing, or do daily devotionals.

I do always write. Not always on a specific project. Sometimes it’s two lines of dialogue. Sometimes it’s a blog post (like today). Sometimes it comes directly from the divine and I feel shaky but exhilarated after.

Sometimes I write on envelopes (there are a million I’ve kept, all with little story notes all over them). Brown paper bags, with sharpies. My arms. Duct tape. The wall (not since high school, actually; you tend to think more about keeping the house in good shape when you’re the one paying the rent — though when I do own my own house my writing office will have at least one chalkboard wall and lots of chalk), which may make me a bit more like Winifred Burkle than I realize.

“]Winifred Burkle

Though I'm not as smart as she was. (Image via Wikipedia)

Actually, a lot more, because writing keeps me sane. As do spiritual practices for many people. Myself included, as writing is one of my spiritual practices. Writing (on paper or the wall or the computer screen) gives me roads out of my own personal hell dimensions. And then at some point, I realized my writing was actually pretty good and I decided to publish. At some point a little later on, I realized my writing was more than pretty good; it was important — because it was yet another place where people could find strong women characters, and we need more of that. Not only that, but it was a place where strong women characters existed outside of patriarchy — which is even harderto find.

I don’t discount the strength of women characters within patriarchal bounds — goddesses know we need to see that in fiction because fiction informs real life. But we also need to see that there’s an alternative to patriarchy. It may not be perfect, but at least it’s different. (This is why the “Peaceful Matriarchy” mythos perseveres so strongly in Pagandom to this day.)

But that’s another blog post. My point for this one is that if you consider yourself a writer, then you best be writing. 

Writing

Image via Wikipedia

Go on. Fill up that page. Even if it’s just with one massive word. And even if you’re a lefty (like me).

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Finding my place in a binary-gendered world

Posted by Katje on February 27, 2012


First International Symposium on Chinese Women...

Is this all I get? (Image via Wikipedia.)

They keep telling me to find a writer brand, something that I can stay consistent with. And the only thing that I can think of as consistent with my writing is that I write from a feminist pagan perspective, and that will never not inform my writing.

Ok, so, feminist pagan perspective. Putting it that way reduces my readership considerably. As much as I’d like to stand on principles alone, I need to eat. That means increasing readership.

A big part of feminism is centering women’s voices; more largely, centering the voices of the oppressed. And there are many people who will not even admit to being feminist, but who will actively search out things dedicated to women’s voices, women’s contributions. That’s why we have GeekGirlCon, or Women of Google+.

There’s no GeekGenderqueerCon, or Non-Binary Folk of Google+.

So where do I make my place?

I’m asking the universe, the gods, because I’ve been considering a) trying to attend GGC as a guest and b) submitting my profile to Women of Google+. Not because I ID as a woman, but because most people will see me as a woman and choose to refer to me that way.

Question becomes: do I stand by my principles and wallow in obscurity? Do I refuse to be erased, refuse to enter women’s spaces?

Or do I bite the bullet and let the world continue to coercively assign me as female?

Because what I write about, the stories I create, are important to women. To young women, to old women, to in-between women. To gay women, het women, cis and trans women. To all women, I’d like to think.

And if I want to reach those women — to increase my readership, yes, and so I can eat, yes, but also so they can read my books, so they can have more strong women characters to relate to in a sea of male heroes — I have to travel in these circles. I have to announce that I write for this demographic.

And, you know, it’s important that we have these spaces to focus on women’s contributions. It really really is and I don’t discount their importance one bit.

I’m just feeling lost and alone again, and not really sure what I’m going to do.

I suppose I’ll just roll over and give in, as I do with so many other things. For now.

Maybe some years into the future there will be space for us. And it will be glorious.

Posted in Monday Musings | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Sexy Saturday: blocking, barefoot earth-loving, and music to make you writhe

Posted by Katje on February 25, 2012


I spent the morning walking barefoot in my yard.

It’s freezing, and my feet were numb within minutes. It was deliciously sensual, though. With my injury I’ve been cooped up inside the house for over a month.

Standing outside, feeling the earth spin beneath my feet, the sun beating down on my face and arms, the wind whipping around me, was pure heaven. Especially without the narcotics clouding my brain and sensory receptors.

I then decided to put on shoes, because it’s sensible or something, and then to block my shawl. I’d like to use it sometime soon and the weather’s perfect for it. (My house is too small to block a seven foot long, one foot wide shawl.)

After getting it good and wet I learned exactly what a wet sheep smells like.

Not too unpleasant, surprisingly.

Boxes to keep it all from getting tossed about in today's incredible wind.

Gorgeous, isn’t she? The pattern is Swamp Witch, but I call her Harvest Witch because of my choice of colors — more harvest-time than pond scum. (And it’s a really fast knit. If you want something quick and gorgeous, I highly recommend it.)

Now, back inside to warm my feet and listen to some Dyonisis — the incredibly sexy Eve’s Song. I dare you to sing along with these lyrics and not get all hot and bothered.

Eve, she wants to know things
Eve, she wants to know things
Eve, she wants to try that taste you’re offering…

[BiteThinkFightSinkSupSeeSipLickLoveLoseLiveChooseGraspGiveBiteThink]

[Source.]

Yeah, I definitely want to know things after listening to this song. *insert winking emoticon*

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Writer Wednesday: Hot fresh novel, available on Kindle now!

Posted by Katje on February 8, 2012


As I mentioned briefly on Saturday, Bellica is now available for the Kindle.

I ended up pricing it at $7.99, which is a bit lower than the $9.99 I had originally planned on, but still an accurate representation of the novel’s length and, frankly, what I feel I deserve for it. Also, this price was decided upon after extensive market research* by yours truly.

I’m currently also working on the CreateSpace file for a new paperback version of Bellica — one that will have bigger font and more pages. It will also be more widely available. More news on that as it unfolds.

Finally, you’ll notice few posts here and at Gossip Diet. I’m currently unable to type while sitting up and typing while lying down (the only position available to me) takes a lot of time and effort and causes me some pain. Therefore I shall be posting half as much at each blog, because that equals one blogs’ worth of posts, I think.

In the meantime, I have to wait for my back to slowly get better. It’s going slow, because it hates me. And now I hate it just as much.

*Extensive market research definition: I ran a poll on Facebook.

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Monday Musings: Rape Culture in Fantasy Settings

Posted by Katje on February 6, 2012


[TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of rape and sexual assault]

It’s a Thing. It really is. We’d like to think that the worlds we think up are oh-so-evolved, but the truth is that many of the worlds we think up have a rape culture in some shape or form.

Possibly because it’s nearly impossible for us to imagine humanity could be better.

Or maybe — and this I find more likely — maybe we really believe, deep down, that rape is something that just happens and it’s something we just have to deal with.

I don’t believe that’s completely true.

I do believe that humanity could be better. I believe we could build a sex-positive society. I also believe that within this sex-positive society, rape could probably still happen. The difference lies within our reactions.

Current rape culture

Person gets raped. Zie comes forth. Immediately blamed for walking alone at night, wearing ‘slutty’ clothing, having a uterus. What were you thinking deciding to have reproductive organs that would brand you as ‘female’? That was silly.

[my completely idealized] sex-positive culture

Person gets raped. Zie comes forth. Receives proper care and attention; is immediately believed and never ever blamed. Rapist goes through restorative justice, because we realize zie is still human and needs our help.

Generalizations, of course, but you get my point.

Sad thing is, there are very few rape culture-free fantasy books out there. In fact, I can’t think of one. Not even my own.

However, the rape culture I’ve created is a bit tamer than ours. Rape certainly isn’t as prevalent in Athering society, and the victims are never blamed. It’s still acknowledged as something that sometimes happens, and it’s dealt with: the rapist is turned over to the priestesses of the Temple*, where zie must go through penance to Desirelle, the goddess of sexual liaisons and consent — for it’s Her sacred laws that have been breached. That’s if the victim comes forward. Which they may not, for whatever reason, though that is not common.

I digress. My point is, even those of us who write sex-positive stories cannot eliminate the specter of rape from our worlds.

And I guess what I’m getting at here is what does that say about us?  I know there are writers out there who write rape because they see it as a fact of life…one that happens to women who “don’t follow the rules”. Or as a common part of conquering another country: pillage, burn, rape.

And yet, in all these scenarios, people never write about rape as something that just happens to men.

Which I suppose is proof enough that we cannot get rid of all our patriarchal programming, no matter how hard we try.

That’s the one difference I made sure of in my book. I couldn’t seem to eliminate rape, but I did turn the tables: no one is exempt. It can involve anyone, regardless of gender.

That’s a fact we seem to forget. When we write rape culture, it’s women who get it. Yet when feminists bring up rape culture as a relentless assault on women, we get shouted down because “Men get raped too!”

Um, ok. Never said they didn’t.

But a lot of writers have.

*The priestesses also have the ability to ascertain the truth of any situation, fyi. So the justice system is largely religious.

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SFFSat, Feb 4th: a snippet from Bellica

Posted by Katje on February 3, 2012


In this snippet, Bellica Anala is attempting a daring escape from an enemy nation where she has been held captive in a drugged state. This is from my recently released novel Bellica, now available on Kindle.

 

Through some stroke of luck she made it to the stables, where a young groom got another sleeper hold from her. She found her horse easily, it being the shabbiest creature there.

She pulled the docile mare about halfway out of the stall when she stopped. What am I doin’? She needed to escape, not go for a gentle city ride. She pushed the mare back into its stall and took a horse from a few stalls down.

This one was a huge, black stallion, who looked as if he normally had a terrible temper. Anala approached him cautiously and held out her hand. He sniffed it, then nickered softly and nuzzled her.

She’d always had a way with horses.

 

Be sure to check out the other talented participants of SFFSat here!

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