Bacon and Whiskey

Fat lady gets honest

Posts Tagged ‘OH FUCK MY EYES’

13 reasons this book made me homicidal: a review of Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Posted by Katje on January 19, 2012

Cover of "Thirteen Reasons Why"

Cover of Thirteen Reasons Why

I picked up Thirteen Reasons Why recently because it was on my list of “to read” and it had received much critical acclaim. Also it was one of two books I’d brought with me while traveling (not including the two I read on mom’s Kindle). I figured it might be okay, at least.

Allow me to give you 13 reasons I dislike it. And by “dislike”, I mean “hate psychotically.”

[TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE AND ASSAULT]

[SPOILERS]

  1. Support of the “Well, she didn’t technically say ‘no’ so it’s not technically rape, right?” trope. The character who gets raped [I'm talking about Hannah; the other character who gets raped is tossed aside like a piece of garbage, her views never explored] is herself unsure if it was rape or no, which is very common because we all get taught that we’re dirty and naughty unless we shout no! in a loud voice — but we’re trained from an early age to never say no, because then the menfolk might get violent. That’s not what I have issue with; I have issue with the book itself seeming unsure regarding the conclusion. If the character who’d been raped could not unequivocally call it that, then another character who knew about it (there were three) should have been clear. Without that clarity it seems the author is saying he agrees that it’s “grey-area rape”. Anything short of enthusiastic consent is rape. Not saying no does not equal consent. The fact that the character was crying and clenching her teeth just to get through it should have alerted the others who knew about the situation that it was rape. Instead, we get vague hand-waving of “well maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t,” and this is wholly irresponsible of the author and holds up standards of misogyny and rape culture.
  2. The structure of the book is highly manipulative. The reader is lead on a very deliberate route, leaving no leeway for interpretation. Asher has a conclusion that he wants you to reach and he makes sure you reach it. This leaves you feeling used and abused once the book is done.
  3. Horrible characterization: there is no sympathy for Hannah Baker. She’s badly written. Hannah is portrayed as cold, calculating, selfish and childish. Suicidal people get portrayed as selfish all the time, so this is an old, tired, trope. Instead, you feel sympathy for Clay Jensen, who is a basically good guy [even thought he's been raised steeped in patriarchal rape culture but that's not really his fault and despite it he seems to turn out okay, at least] who is in love with Hannah. He had no idea how deeply disturbed she was, and feels she didn’t really give him a chance to help her. The added blow of giving him the tapes will give him guilt and anger towards her, which is unfair and childish: suicidal people usually don’t plan big manipulation games like this. We’re too lost in our own pain to even fucking care about how our deaths are going to affect others — and no, that’s not being selfish, that’s called having bodily autonomy. Also, if you can’t understand what it’s like to just want to die because you’re in so much pain, shut the fuck up about suicidal people being selfish. You have no idea.
    The attitude of Hannah, the whole “I’ll just kill myself and THEN won’t they be sorry!” makes her look like a spoiled child, and not someone who’s truly in a lot of pain.
  4. Following #3: White Whine. I mean, fuck, I’m not trying to belittle her problems, but Hannah is so badly written that all of her pain seems like so much white whine. I had things way worse, way earlier in life, and I know I had it good compared to other peoples’ lives. I tried to kill myself several times, but it was never to hurt others. It was to end my own pain.
    And when I finally did find something good, something worth holding on to that eased the pain, I didn’t scream and freak out and push it away because, you know, shit had happened before and somehow having my original fantasies about love and romance ruined made it impossible for me to accept someone who actually loved me. What the fuck, Hannah?
    Like, shit, kid, I get it, life in high school sucks, but yours could have been a lot worse, Miss Heterosexual White Cisgendered Middle-Class girl.
  5. Mansplaining. It’s a story about misogyny and rape culture and how it manifests in high school, driving young girls to kill themselves. But it’s told through the eyes of a male character who’s listening to Hannah’s tapes by a male author who couldn’t write women characters effectively if it were beaten into him. For further remark, see #6.
  6. The only reason this book received so much acclaim is because finally a white man is saying what marginalized folk have been saying for much longer. HAY GUISE, DID YOU KNOW? RAPE CULTURE. MISOGYNY. THEY EXIST. AND GIRLS ARE KILLING THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF IT.
    Oh, thank the Goddesses! A white man finally noticed that we’re being raped and brutalized left right and center! Let’s watch him do a terrible job writing about it. Mansplaining: not just for trolls anymore!
    I can tell you right now that if anyone other than a white man had written this book it would not have received half the acclaim it has. People do not believe things until white men say it’s the truth. I say I was raped twice, and I am questioned unless a white man corroborates my story. I say misogyny is everywhere, and I’m a hysterical feminist “looking to get angry about something” unless a white man says he sees it too. People of color, indigenous people, transgendered people, disabled and/or neuroatypical people, and queer folk have been saying for years that the police are corrupt and that police brutality is a matter of course in their daily lives. No one listens until Occupy happens, when suddenly white men are being treated this way too.
    So, yeah. Asher had a chance to actually bring to light a serious issue, and he did it horribly. With friends like these….
  7. Dual narratives is confusing, dizzying, and manipulative. It is falsely compelling: the intense structure made you feel as if the book was compelling, but the characterization was so bad that by the end of the book I wanted Hannah and everyone else in her small town to die.
  8. The message is Anvillicious. Anvils everywhere. Falling from the sky. Especially as the result of Hannah’s probably-false suicide and tapes is to force Clay to insert himself into Skye’s life, regardless her wishes, because may be suicidal. (See #9 for elaboration.)
    We should all care enough about our fellow human to ease their pain, even if just for a while. That does not mean we should see it as our personal crusade to save people from suicide. We need to respect bodily autonomy. Bodily autonomy includes the right to choose how you will die, if possible.
    We need to stop phrasing it as “Be nice. You never know who may be considering SUICIDE,” and start phrasing it as “Be kind, because we all deserve compassion and unconditional love.”
    Also: listen to people when they say they’ve been raped or assaulted. Believe them. Realize what that means. (Ie, YES MEANS YES.) Stop the bros before hos policy that protects rapists like Bryce Walker. The “jokes” of the Who’s Hot/Who’s Not list, or Justin’s rumors about Hannah letting people think they own her — they all support rape culture.
    And Asher’s portrayal of Hannah as completely unsympathetic with Clay being the protagonist voicing the “boys will be boys” sentiment and even a “you knew what you were getting into” trope enforces the idea that it’s “not a big deal”.
    Irresponsible. Completely irresponsible.
  9. White knight syndrome. Wow, really loving your portrayal of every single woman in the school needing a big strong man to save them. SO FUCKING ORIGINAL.
  10. Hannah faked her own death. Or didn’t succeed and was too embarrassed to show her face at school afterwards. She planned enough to record the blame-game tapes, but not enough to figure out exactly how she would kill herself or to have a back-up plan if the first time didn’t work — when she intended to do it the next day. With perfect timing, as Tony saw her in 3rd period and she was “dead” by mid-afternoon.
    Then she had no funeral and her parents left town.
    I think she faked her own death. And sent those tapes around to prove a point. Through manipulation.
    Making her…a horrible human being.
  11. Her treatment of Mr. Porter. Look, Hannah, if you want to exercise your bodily autonomy, off yourself, fine. But don’t bring down Mr. Porter with you, whose only crime was not being able to decipher your totally cryptic replies. The man tried, for fuck’s sake! You gave him nothing. And then you create these tapes wherein you lay most, if not all, of the blame at his feet for not being able to help you.
    Hannah showed more compassion for her rapist, her assaulters, than she did to poor Mr. Porter. Mr. Porter was already close to suicide when he realized that he’d failed to help his student. How much do you want to bet her tapes send him over the edge?
    How is that, in any sense, a simple expression of bodily autonomy?
    Especially when it’s doubtful she killed herself at all.
  12. No clear character motivation beyond “I’m an emo white girl who can’t get perspective waaaaaah”. I mean, her torments were real, if somewhat tame to my old, cynical eyes, yet her reaction to Clay kissing her was completely ridiculous, lacking in clear motivation. Is she supposed to be a strong female character? Is she supposed to be a role model?
    Gods, I hope not. She’s worse than Bella Swan.
  13. On page 9, Hannah’s recorded voice instructs her listeners to listen to all the tapes and then rewind them when they’re done before mailing them off. When she doesn’t even know how tapes work why should I trust that she figured out how to effectively kill herself?

On the plus side, the spelling, grammar, and punctuation were good.

However, I can’t recommend this book to anyone. It was horrible, and there are much better ways to get the same message. Actually, I could be wrong, as I’m not even sure what the message IS. The anvil hit me so hard I have a concussion.

Final verdict: waste of a tree’s life. If you must subject yourself to this mound of tripe, buy the ebook or go to the library.

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30 in 30: Day 13 (in which I talk about ducks and how Chris Weitz is a complete fucking ass and should suffer for destroying The Golden Compass)

Posted by Katje on February 25, 2011

Favorite childhood book OR current favorite YA book (or both!)

My favorite book as a child was Drakestail, which is an old French folk tale. Mom would read it with me, and we’d sing out the repeating chorus of Quack! Quack! Quack! When shall I get my money back? together with great relish and glee. I especially liked that the duck was dating the river. Seemed rather apropos.

The Golden Compass is my current favorite YA book. I haven’t yet read the rest of the trilogy, but the first book is top notch. It is a response to The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis and the not-so-subtle Christianity embedded in that story and world. (Seriously, re-reading it as an adult I’m like “Oh, so THAT’S where all those dominant Christian tropes in my brain that I’ve had to train myself out of came from! The obvious sexism in Narnia (“War is ugly when women fight!” um dude war is usually ugly, and tell that to the Morrigan JUST SAYIN), and that children’s Bible some neighbour gave to me when I was a kid which is honestly pretty creepy now that I think about it.” I mean, in general I don’t have a problem with Christianity OR the Bible (see previous post), but there are very strong tropes of misogyny, racism, etc, within both book (especially when it’s been simplified for kids, like in my children’s Bible) and Church and it takes a thinking Christian to put aside the “This is how things were back then” and see it as an interesting look at history/a repository of facts, myth, religious meaning, etc. Like, it’s possible to read the Bible and take beauty and meaning from it and not hatred and bigotry (especially internalized self-hatred), just like it’s possible to be a Christian and not be racist/misogynist/classist/etc. I’ve seen it happen. Anyway, I digress.)

The Golden Compass isn’t exactly children’s fare (neither is Narnia, in my view, but that’s a different rant). The ending is pretty fucking harsh. (I won’t spoil it here for you.) I had trouble with it in my early 20s. So, while it’s marketed as YA, I wouldn’t class it as YA. I mean, I don’t mean to insult teenagers or anything but I had trouble with the ending and I’m pretty desensitized. So read with caution. Especially if you have daddy-issues, because the harshness of the ending revolves around the main character and her father (no it’s not a Star Wars ripoff).

And under no circumstances should you watch the film. EVER. It was a horrible fucking ABORTION of a film and Chris Weitz should be shot. Him and the guy who made The Last Exorcism I mean seriously I don’t care about the content of films but there should be a law against BAD FILMMAKING WITH NO REDEEMING FEATURES. I mean, it’s not even in the vein of “B Movie that’s enjoyable in its badness” or “MST3K-able” it’s just fucking AWFUL and had me twitching and yelling in the theatre at the film festival which kind of pissed off other moviegoers but I DON’T CARE BECAUSE IT WAS THAT FUCKING BAD.

The movie quite seriously bears almost no resemblance to the book, changes the ending (in a craptastic way), and butchers the story and characters so much as to make it almost unrecognizable. Weitz took an amazing piece of literature that deserved fantastic treatment at the hands of the filmmaking goddess Cinema and sacrificed it on the altar of Her enemy, Kevin Costner (he makes horrible films and he’s a horrible fucking actor). IT IS A MOVIE FORSAKEN OF THE FILM GODDESS CINEMA AND IT BLASPHEMES HER SPHERE OF INFLUENCE. All copies of it should be destroyed and the memory of it should be wiped from our heads.

Anyway, yeah, you should read The Golden Compass, because it’s good, and you should set fire to Chris Weitz with your mind because he deserves it.

Also, ducks rock. Especially ducks who sing in rhyme.

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30 in 30: Day 11 (where I talk about the Duke’s flat soda)

Posted by Katje on December 19, 2010

A book that disappointed you

The Duke’s Ballad, by Andre Norton.

It was just fucking crap is what it was. I started reading it and it seemed to be starting a bit slow, but I persevered. I was on vacation after all, and it was one of the three books I had. I wasn’t going to NOT read it on account of it starting slow.

Worst. decision. ever.

There was the point in the book, this magical point, where I realized how crap the book was and how much better off I’d be if I just lit it on fire and threw it in Lago Atitlan. This magical point was also just past the point where I couldn’t stop reading it because it would drive me crazy if I didn’t finish it.

I finished it. It was flat like old soda. The characters were flat, the story was flat, the romance was flat, the tension was flat. I felt nothing for the main character, aside a wish she would die at some point. I sort of wished for them all to die. The protagonists were vaguely good as the antagonists were vaguely bad. Wasn’t much reason for either. I think there was some magic in it at some point, but I can’t be sure because it was 5 years ago and it was fucking terrible and there’s only so much therapy can block out.

So. My recommendation? DON’T FUCKING READ IT OMG MY EYEEEEESSSS.

Just saying.

 

Oh, and by the way? The duke? WAS THE BAD GUY. The book is about how he’s not really that bad, just misunderstood, or something, and the protagonist writes him a ballad when he dies. It made no sense because there was no clear motivation for anyone’s actions. It was a giant pile of WTF.

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30 in 30: Day 05 (in which I rag upon Eragon so hard I make him bleed from inappropriate places)

Posted by Katje on August 15, 2010

A book or series you hate

Oh man. This one is almost too easy. (I say ‘almost’ because there is a book/series that I actually hate more than the one I’m writing about now…but as I haven’t actually been able to bring myself to read the whole thing, and as there’s a lot of virulent hate for it already, I figured I’d go with the lesser-hated series.)

Eragon. Or the Inheritance saga, whatever the fuck. Has to be the worst writing I’ve ever read in my life. After I finished the first chapter I felt like someone had hit my head with a sledgehammer, repeatedly. Paolini was in high school when he finished the book, and you know what?

It shows.

I’m not being ageist — lots of teens have tremendous writing talent. But it is the very, very rare occasion that that writing talent has been honed for years, making said teen capable of crafting an original, comprehensive, compelling story. It is time and experience and encouragement (positive AND negative) that builds writing talent, and few teens have had that. I certainly didn’t. I started my novel when I was 12 and I finished it when I was 22. It took epic amounts of re-writing to make the beginning as good as the end.

In this book, there were obviously no rewrites. Paolini probably finished it, showed it to his parents (who were no doubt THRILLLLLLED with it and showered it with praise, little dollar signs in their eyes), and then they got it published. I may or may not be insinuating that there were favors performed for publishing execs. Publishing execs who had never seen Star Wars, read Lord of the Rings, heard of RA Salvatore, or even just fucking knew the genre. At all.

Eragon was a rip off of, well, where do I begin? It would be shorter to list what wasn’t ripped off.

Um.

Let me think.

Yeah, I got nothing.

There were dragons! They imprint on their riders upon hatching! *cough*Pern*cough* There was a totally original setting that in no way reminded one of a combo of Middle Earth and the worlds of R.A. Salvatore’s Forgotten Realms series. IN NO WAY. I cannot STRESS that enough. It was COMPLETELY ORIGINAL.

The family of origin stuff with the main character was totally normal. There was no orphaning. At all.

And there totally wasn’t a sometimes-creepy Luke-Obi-wan relationship between Eragon and his mentor, Whatshisfuck.

But my complaints do not rest solely on Paolini’s ability to imagine things and create a world unmistakably his own. My complaints rest on the dense, unreadable prose.

Allow me to review the book, emulating Paolini’s writing style.

So there was this guy Eragon who like found an egg or some shit and then this dragon hatched out of it and he kept it a secret while he tried to name it and there was this funny bit where he realized it was a girl dragon and then he named her Saphira and then he went to talk to this creepy old dude in his village about dragons or something and the dude obviously knew a lot but was being cagey for some reason I have no idea what the fuck and then there was training to ride Saphira (unf unf unf) and then Eragon’s family was killed, or something, by VERY! POWERFUL! BEINGS! who were out to get him and the dragon so he and his creepy old dude mentor have to run away or something and they do but they can’t ride Saphira because she’s a baby dragon or something and they get into battles and adventure and stuff and at some point Saphira gets totally pissed off at Eragon but then she totally gets over it, I guess, and they continue on, and then I’m not sure what else happens because I sort of blacked out and when I awoke I was in a soft room, wearing a jacket that let me hug myself, and when they finally let me out for good behavior there was still blood under my nails.

*takes a deep breath*

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN

and then I went to see the movie, to see if I could understand the plot better.

The movie was worse, because they took a great actress like Rachel Weisz and then fucked up on the voice syncing with Saphira’s CG image so all her lines sounded wooden because they didn’t match the dragon at ALL and man, if it had been me I would have, well, I never would have been involved in the first place BUT IF I HAD and that had happened I would have called Wayne Brady and asked him to choke Christopher Paolini.

I still don’t remember the plot. I remember John Malkovich had a sword and was dark and angsty.

I mean, for fuck’s sake, the book’s only claim to flame I MEAN FAME, really, I mean, because it has NO LITERARY MERIT AT ALL, is that Chris P. wrote it when he was in high school. OH OH OH MY GODS A YOUNG AUTHOR HOW AMAZING THAT’S SO FUCKING COOL WHEEEEEEEEEEE.

I had an autographed copy of the book because he was at the Maui Writer’s Conference the year after I attended [as a young novelist], and my mom went and got me a copy because, well, Eragon was the next hot thing.

I swear upon a stack of Kama Sutras that my opinion of the book was in no way influenced by the fact that I was incredibly bitter that he got famous before I did. (Really, I went into it unbiased and objective, and came out of it crying, running to my roommate’s room and saying “The book touched me in a bad place!”)

My roommate finished the book for me and explained the plot, agreeing that it was horribly written. When the second one came out he got it and — behold! There was a little paragraph at the beginning, summarizing the events in the first book. THE LITTLE SUMMARY PARAGRAPH WAS A BETTER TELLING OF THAT STORY. I SHIT YOU NOT.

Because that was the problem — he took what would have been a good first two chapters and draaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddd iiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt ooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttttt until his readers cried tears of blood and begged him to stop.

In conclusion, I think his hands should be chopped off to prevent him from inflicting more of his terrible, terrible writing upon the world. (Restraining order in three, two, one….)

Though I do think it’s unfortunate; were it not for his horrible plague of bad books, unleashed upon the world like tainted grain from Andorhal (yes, I’m a nerd), I would actually think him rather attractive.

Sigh. Another piece of eye candy bites the dust. ‘Sokay. He’s too old for me anyway. I can’t keep up my reputation of being a cougar-in-training if I suddenly start going for older guys.

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